Hakuna matata

I've been sick for the past few days and today I didn't spend in bed all day for the first time. I didn't go outside, because I still don't feel good, but I DID something. Well, about half an hour ago I decided to lie down to rest for a little while. Huge mistake. Not that resting is bad, no. That actually would be great right now. But when I lay down and tucked myself in, I was hit by a big fat wall of worries which were waiting to feed on the blank space I had saved for this short time of sleep. They didn't come at me one after another or creeping from under my pillow, no, they hit me full-on and crawled right into my sleepy thoughts like little sneaking monsters. Disturbing, disgusting and ugly. So I lay there, almost paralyzed, and listened to the whole load of worries - the big ones, the medium-sized ones and the small ones. All of them. It was ridiculous. I was worried about things that happened long ago, like that one thing that happened when I was 10 years old. I was worried about things happening in the series I'm currently watching - What will happen to Brooke? Why are these writers so cruel? I miss Leyton so much... - and about things I can't change. I was worried about right now and all the things I have to get done before I leave for Berlin tomorrow - What will I wear? Do I really need to pack my laptop for one night? Am I addicted to the damn thing? -, about my health - How often did I take my medication today? Did I drink enough water? Surely not enough tea. I really have to sleep now! - and about things that'll happen far away in the future - Will I cry after my practical examination like I did the last time? Will I become a great child-care worker? Will I have many- STOP IT! Suddenly I was screaming at myself in my head. How dumb do you have to be to worry about things in the future?! How stupid are we people to always worry about everything? I know it's not just me. I am a worrier and yes, there are people who don't worry as much as I do and I guess there are people who worry far more than me, but really, what is it worth? I'm sick, I need to get better for a lot of reasons and I need my sleep, but my silly brain won't let me do just that because it got eaten up by worries. Worries nobody needs, but everybody has. And I know sometimes worries are a good thing and really helpful, but most of the time they're just useless. I don't have all the answers as to how we can stop worrying, but I'd suggest we trust god or life or ourselves or whatever we believe in, take a deep breath and then sing a lovely little song called

by our (or at least my) friends Timon & Pumbaa, and Simba. Right now I'm going to take a little nap.

♥ Regenschirmtier