Freitag, 30. Dezember 2016


Ich hab versucht auf deutsch zu schreiben, aber es hat einfach nicht geklappt. Ich hoffe, dass du den Text trotzdem liest. Vielleicht nimmst du ja sogar etwas Gutes davon mit.

Sometimes I pause what I'm doing because I can't believe we're already living in 2016. Then I remember that 2017 is just around the corner. This may as well be the best time to lie on the floor and think about the mysteries of the universe. I really do that sometimes but it doesn't take long before I'm unable to cope with the thought that the universe is infinite and still expands permanently. So I bring my thoughts back to planet earth, back to 2016, and think about what I will tell people about this year should they ever ask me about it.
It's out of the question that things happened this year that are heart-wrenching. Sometimes my heart was so heavy it felt as if I would only be able to walk stooped down. I cried a lot. For all the people we lost this year. For children who may never live a "normal" life, because they had to experience war. For lost fights. For votes going to people who think less of others because of their skin color, origin, religion, sexuality or gender. As I write about it, the tears try to find their way out again, because it's really "%§)!&"=/ hard. It is, I don't want to fool myself or you. BUT! (yes, here comes the but!) But this is not everything this year consisted of. You want proof? There you go.
These are my memory jars starting with 2013 on the left. They contain happiness and love and all the other good moments that are worth remembering. As you can see, they seem to grow bigger every year. Look at the glass for 2016. Does this look like a sad year to you? I didn't think so. It wasn't. Because 2016 was the year I fell in love with Hamilton. It's the year we got more Harry Potter, we got Newt Scamander and his fantastic beasts. I read so many awesome wow books. Lin-Manuel Miranda opened up a whole other dimension of music for me that nobody ever thought I would enjoy. There were so many beautiful moments with my loved ones. I danced, sang and clapped along on so many amazing concerts. I got to work with people I admire. 2016 is the year I loved myself more. Man, I'm so lucky, WE are so lucky! These are just some of MY positive experiences, but I urge you to remember yours. I urge you to not only remember the dark times, but to think about all the good things you did, the good things that happened to you and other people. I don't want you to forget the bad. Cry about it, write about it, cope with it however you do, but don't let it take you over. Give the hurt and the rage a room in your heart, but don't give them the power cord, protect yourself with an army of positivity. DO NOT LET HATE WIN. Because " is love is love is love is love is love is love is love cannot be killed or swept aside." (Lin-Manuel Miranda)

♥ Regenschirmtier

Sonntag, 18. September 2016

A belly full of secrets

Dear lovely people of the world,

sometimes I wonder how we got here. How did we get to a society that fully supports fat-shaming, even advertises it? Shaming in general, that is. Doesn't matter if it's about weight or sex or buying things for your own pleasure. Or even cleaning your own living-room. I then proceed to think about historical facts that helped shape how we are and what we do today. Okay, that happened, I will never be able to change the past. But what about the future, what about the present? This gift the world gives us, which we get to unwrap everyday. People always preach "be the change you want to see in the world", but there are more people complaining than people DOING and CHANGING the game. When will you learn that shaming people will not make them change? 
Yes, I am overweight and yes, I love eating and I am responsible for most of the fat that my body contains. But that doesn't mean that I'm unhealthy. And it doesn't mean that you, most likely a skinny person, get to judge me when you only know what you see. You don't get to shame me for my weight OR for the way I gained it. Further down lies the question "Why is it of such interest to you, how or why or that I have a big butt and a big belly?" What's in it for you if I ever lose the weight? Do you think you get to say "I am the reason why she now weighs so and so many pounds less than she wighed three months ago"? Will it make you feel good? DO YOU THINK THAT YOUR SHAMING ME WILL MAKE ME LOSE WEIGHT? As if. You know what it does? It makes me like you less and it makes me question if you even like yourself. Because that's what I do. I love myself, I love my big butt and my belly full of secrets. Yes, I'm not always happy about how I look and that is normal. But you fat-shaming me in front of my friends is never gonna do anything good, never gonna change the game. Start by loving yourself and you will see how it changes not only your view on yourself, but also your view on others. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be kind.

Yours sincerely,
Regenschirmtier ♥

Montag, 30. Mai 2016

You'll be okay

"You'll be okay." is a sentence I often use. I tell it to all the people in my life who are having a hard time, whose life is rough in that very moment, who have a big ass mountain in front of them. I also tell it to myself, sing it to myself. It's something that helps me get through whatever is shoved in my way by what some people call Universe, God, Life. And I hope it helps those I tell it to. Because yes, life can be rough and hard and really really sad, but for me there's always hope. Hope that it'll be alright, that I will be okay, everyone will be.
When I say those four words I don't always think about it as every problem solved, about happy endings and everyone loving each other. Naah. Well, yes, the hope for solutions and success and love is still there, but "You'll be okay." doesn't always mean that. Sometimes is also means losing something or someone. It means not finding a solution to a problem or remaining sad for a looong time. But I still say it, because there's always healing. There are always wounds being closed, remaining only a scar (which are - and you can't take that away from me - something that make people unique and tell stories about them). There will always be people not finding their way back to each other and yes, maybe the sound of the other person's name will sting a little when said, but both of these people will heal, will be happy again, will live their lives in a great way. So when you are there and I say to you those words, be sure that I have hope for you. Because hope is stronger than fear and we can't let fear win. We just can't. You'll be okay.

♥ Regenschirmtier

Samstag, 6. Februar 2016

Magie existiert!

Als ich eben mit dem Fahrrad vom Babysitten nach Hause fuhr, hatte ich mal wieder eine Reihe dieser Momente, die ich schon seit geraumer Zeit als Privatparty bezeichne. Das sind Herzmomente, die man ganz für sich feiert und oft hat dabei die Musik ihre Finger im Spiel. Meistens treten sie auf, wenn ich gerade auf meinem Fahrrad unterwegs bin und heute waren sie besonders stark, besonders intensiv und vollgeladen mit Emotionen. Ich glaube das lag unter anderem daran, dass ich zurzeit meine Musik im shuffle höre, weil ich keine "Musikphase" habe. Früher fand ich das zufällige Abspielen von Liedern grässlich, heute finde ich es ziemlich aufregend. Besonders, weil ich beim Fahrradfahren ja nicht ständig auf mein Handy lunzen kann, um nachzuschauen, welcher Song als nächstes dran ist. Und vorhin war nach zwei Liedern von den Wise Guys erstmal Stille in meinen Ohren. Ich dachte schon, mein Handy hat mal wieder das Programm einfach beendet, aber neeein, es war ein Stück, das generell leiser war und dann auch noch fast unvernehmbar begann. Es spielte "Der König ist zurückgekehrt", ein Stück aus dem Soundtrack vom Ende von "Der König der Löwen". Als erstes umfingen mich die wohligen Töne des Cello-Solos, was beinahe von ganz allein mein Herz zum Schmelzen brachte, aber dann ging es ans Eingemachte und plötzlich hatte ich Herzrasen und Schmerzen in der Brust - Ich konnte vor mir sehen, wie Scar Simba immer weiter an den Rand des Königsfelsens drängt und ihm schließlich sein grausiges Geheimnis verrät. Doch wer die Geschichte kennt, weiß, dass das Blatt sich wendet. Nun ging die Musik zu der Stelle über, wo die Schlacht bereits geschlagen und das geweihte Land gerettet ist, zu dem Moment, in dem Simba als neuer König den Königsfelsen erklimmt.
Was für ein gigantischer Augenblick! So gigantisch, dass sich mir ein breites Lächeln ins Gesicht stahl und mir Tränen in die Augen schossen. Wer auch immer mich in diesem Moment gesehen haben mag, hätte niemals erraten können, was da gerade in und mit mir passiert. Wow, auch jetzt, eine halbe Stunde später, klingt dieses klitzekleine großartige Ereignis noch in mir nach. Das kann wirklich nur Musik, wenn sie mit meinem altbewährten Freund, der Liebe, zusammenarbeitet. Solche Magie, mir solche Gefühle ins Herz zu zaubern, da können nur die Großen am Werk gewesen sein. Mal wieder bin ich unendlich dankbar dafür, ein Musikmensch zu sein, ein Momentemensch, ein Disneyliebe-Mensch und vor allem ein Mensch, der bewegt ist und sich bewegen lässt. Dieser Mensch muss sich jetzt erstmal erholen und vermutlich den Film noch einmal schauen. Lasst euch und eure Herzen bewegen, ihr Lieben. Das Leben ist herrlich!
♥ Regenschirmtier