Samstag, 7. November 2015

soft & kind & hopeful

Dear human being,

I am disgusted. No, that's not it. I feel everything right now and it's too much. I haven't written for a while now - again, and I'm sorry for that - because I felt like I'm losing myself. Today while I drove back from the lake I sat at I discovered that this is in fact not what's happening. I'm a person who feels a lot, who takes everything in that's surrounding me. Most of all I am soft. Funnily enough I'm also soft on the outside, but that's not what I mean when I say "I am soft." Being soft means being a person who is kind and gentle, a person who has not gone hard. It means I see that the world is not a nice place to live in, but I'm not bitter, I still try to do my best to make it as good as possible for others. As a dear friend of mine so wisely phrased it in his last letter to me: "The world is not good, but it's beautiful." Now, you may yell at your screen for reading such words written from my hand, but let me tell you what lies behind that: No, the world is not a good place. Yes, there's our earth which offers us so incredibly much and yes, there are beautiful people, who word hard to make the world a better place. But still there are people who suffer. There are people who have to flee their country because of war. Most of these people lose everything they've had, they're literally just trying to survive but a lot of people in my country feel the need to hurt them and believe they're a danger to us. There are people who get thrown into prison for being homosexual. There are people who can't get to be themselves, just because their family doesn't accept their true selves. There are people who don't get to eat every day. There are people who are denied the right to go to school. There are so many people who hurt each other day in, day out and it makes no difference whether it's a small matter or a big one, whether it's physical violence or mental abuse. Does that sound like a big, fat load of pain to you? Yeah, I thought so. It makes me feel ashamed and enraged and powerless, but mostly overwhelmed, because it's just too much! With this in mind I remembered a quote by Anne Frank, who wrote into her diary "In spite of everything, I still believe people are really good at heart." and suddenly started struggling to believe the same. Did I lose my faith in humanity? No. Because...
Humanity is a diverse thing and people are complex and complicated, but I refuse to give up on us, I refuse to go bitter, although being soft in a cruel world is hard sometimes. I believe there is good and bad in all of us, but we need to choose which part to act on. I am going to carry this weight, this pain in my heart, but still be hopeful, because if we want to see change in the world we need to do it ourselves. What matters is to try for even a small act lights up the world. And I hope you decide to stay hopeful and soft with me. The world might not be good, but it sure is beautiful and filled with a large number of beautiful people with beautiful souls and hearts. Be one of those people.
♥ Regenschirmtier